


Falsies

by panda_shi



Series: Chronicles of the Royal Magnum Dong [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Language, M/M, Post-Naruto Time Skip | Naruto Shippuden, Sexual Content, Yamato | Tenzou has a giant dong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29331921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panda_shi/pseuds/panda_shi
Summary: Iruka debates getting false lashes.
Relationships: Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou
Series: Chronicles of the Royal Magnum Dong [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071551
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	Falsies

**Author's Note:**

> Written on my phone for no reason.
> 
> Storm reference from Rikacain. New dick names inspiration from sketchy_and_unformed. I recommend reading their stuff, fam!

Iruka honestly debates getting eyelash extensions.

He truly, hilariously does.

Not because he wants to draw attention to his eyes.

Or that he's vain.

But because it seems like adequate protection for whenever Tenzou gives him a facial, which Iruka loves receiving. A hundred percent. He wants Tenzou to never stop coming on his face. He wants that giant monster cock of a spam javelin to spurt glorious white heat all over his face, all the time, at every opportunity. And on his mouth. Especially his mouth.

He wants to hear Tenzou grunt when he slaps that giant head of a cock on Iruka's cheek, drag cum over his temple and brow-bone. Just thinking about it makes Iruka fidget, his stomach swoop inwards, his lower extremities tingle. Tenzou _loves_ coming on his face. He might be obsessed with it.

But... well, sometimes the cum gets in Iruka's eye and they burn. And hurt. Like really bad.

Sometimes it ruins the possibility of a good anal fuck, too. A total boner killer, so to speak.

Which is a darn pity because Tenzou's beef bayonet is amazing. Thick, long, just a tiny bit curved and gods, Iruka doesn't have to angle his hips that much, if he's being honest. That passion stick of Tenzou's just hits the spot every single time.

(And really, with Tenzou's history of having insecurities of hurting someone because of his baguette, especially that time when he apparently tore through someone's vocal chords, well, Iruka doesn't want to give Tenzou more reasons to not want to use his beef bugle. Or worse, fuel said insecurity that this monumentally wondrous gift from the gods is actually, truly a hazard to society.)

Cum still hurts though. And frankly, Iruka doesn't want to miss an opportunity for Tenzou's tyrooger to be in his ass, splitting him open, making him forget there's an existence beyond the piston of that fucking amazing butcher knife.

Maybe this way, if he had longer eyelashes, they'd protect him from said burn.

(Never mind that the obvious solution is to just close his eyes before Tenzou's cum hits his face. It'll make it easier to evade an eye infection, too. But Iruka _loves_ watching Tenzou's expression, which is always so open, raw, _gorgeous_ when he forgets who and what he is for that precious second when the orgasm hits, head tilting back, Adam's apple bobbing, lips slacking as Tenzou exhales at the ceiling, his wrist pumping his tummy banana just before the hot milky storm hits Iruka in the face. Iruka doesn't want to miss that. Ever. Not if he can help it. Just the sight and _sound_ of Tenzou coming, when Tenzou is always so controlled and so fucking quiet is enough to make Iruka come, too.)

Cumbrellas, so to speak.

It seems like not a bad investment. 

They shouldn't be terrible right?

Surely, a thousand ryos would be money well spent, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I do this?


End file.
